Monday, February 2, 2009


That old demon has been surfacing recently and I'm really struggling. I've even picked up the OA book "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" and have been reading it. I do feel that my relationship with food at times could be classified as an addiction. It's hard when you're a food addict, because unlike other addiction you still do have to figure out a way to have it in your life. The way you have abstinence when you're a food addict is by not using food in a maladaptive way. Easier said than done. But, I'm taking one day at a time and I'm truly trying. I wish that obtaining a certain number on the scale wasn't an important measure of health and success. I mean if you don't have that number you're deemed unhealthy...or at least less healthy. It's frustrating when I know how hard I've worked. I'm not perfect by any stretch...but I have worked very, very hard.
My weigh in this week was a bust. I gained. Maybe it's water since my friend is visiting me right now...or maybe it's all the snacking I did in the last week. Either way, the scale did not give me the number I was hoping for.
Ah well...tomorrow's another day, right.

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